Ever since I was a little girl I remember wanting to live in New York City. To me, it was truly a magical city. A little back story – I grew up most of my life in Gold Coast, Australia. Something about all the lights, the yellow cabs and the full city life had me excited. When I was 18 I moved out to New York City alone for college. I first lived in Brooklyn and loved every minute of it but sometimes life kind of gets in the way of your dreams.

When I was 20, I moved to New Jersey and spent three years there. I remember thinking to myself that I felt like I had it all then lost it. I was living in my dream city then all of a sudden I felt like I was back in the middle of a suburb. It honestly wasn’t that far from Manhattan. As a matter of fact, I could get into the city in 30 minutes on a good day. I was young and I just felt a bit lost.

Fast forward to when I turned 22. I am currently now 24 so about two years ago I finally moved back into New York City. This time I wasn’t living in Brooklyn, I was living in Manhattan. It felt simply amazing. I had just gotten accepted into a school I never thought I would. I had just gotten out of a very long term relationship. Everything was new, exciting and I felt like I had a fresh start. This time, I thought, is going to be it. I did live up my life. I started dating boys, going out with my friends and exploring. I spent every minute trying to fill it with new and exciting adventures.

Now as I am sitting here at age 24, I have discovered how lonely this city actually is. Don’t get me wrong, I still absolutely love it and it will always have a place in my heart. I used to go on these walks (when it was warmer outside) for about two hours every single day. My favourite place (believe it or not) is Times Square. I think it’s something about all those lights and what attracted me to this city in the first place. I used to walk through Times Square as part of a routine every night. I would put my headphones in, play some of my favourite music and just somehow get lost in this city. The more I did that, the more I realized there were always hundreds of people near me yet I knew none of them. It felt alienating and it felt lonely.

I still feel a bit lonely in this fast-paced city that I live in. Sometimes I wish I could take a step back from this giant current we’re all speeding through in and watch. This city is beautiful, there is always something to do and every single day is a new adventure. With that comes along the loneliness (as expected, a city can’t be perfect). I guess I’m just writing this post to share just how I feel in the special city to let others know I’m in that boat with you. A big city can be scary, it can feel lonely but I try my best to get through every day and love it for what it is.